An Open Letter to Women: Rise and Shine!
October 23, 2013
8:06 a.m. CST
Most of my life I've had a problem with self-esteem. Or, more specifically, low self-esteem. The message I got from the way I was raised at home and in church was mixed. On one side I was told that God loves me, that my parents love me and that everyone is supposed to love themselves and each other. On the other side, every rule I had to live by seemed to scream out that I was and am worthless. Rules demanded perfection. Perfection is impossible.
I was taught that God loves obedience and that obedience was the only reason for God to save anyone.
I now know different. God loves. God is the author of love....every kind of love. God created love.
When I had my daughter, and then when she had her children, I looked at the things I do for her and her children in the light of my love for them.
I want them to be healthy because I love them.
I want them to be happy because I love them.
I want them to be comfortable because I love them.
I want them to be safe because I love them.
I want them to like themselves because I love them.
I want them to live in peace with everyone else because I love them.
I want them to have good marriages because I love them.
I want them to have plenty to eat because I love them.
I want them to have all they need and more because I love them.
I want to have a good relationship with me and with each other because I love them.
I want them to stay alive and not be hurt or sick because I love them.
I want my daughter and her daughter to feel they are as valuable as men and boys because I love them.
I want them to be able to take care of their children well because I love them.
I want them to be able to read and write and understand this complicated world as well as men do because I love them.
I want them to show how smart they are and be appreciated for their intelligence and other abilities because I love them.
I want the world to benefit from my children's existence and in turn, show my children appreciation by proper equal payment as men because I love them.
I want to hear my children's voices loud and clear, without them being in fear, because I love them.
I want to know my children can stand up to opposition and say what they mean without being silenced for being female, because I love them.
I want my children, both male and female, to be able to buy land, run profitable businesses, and be respected equally because I love them.
I want my children, both male and female, to be able to live their lives, choose their marital partners, and create their children when and how and how many they decide, without being forced into marriage, without being told when or how to express their love to each other, and without having their partner chosen for them..........because I love them.
I want my children to be able to choose their own path in life and be confident in their own abilities and abilities to choose because I love them.
I also want to be as smart, as educated, and as proficient as I can possibly be so that I can provide for my children as I want them to have, and that I can help them be as healthy as is possible. I don't want their health and well-being to be hindered by my ignorance.
Then I have to look at God's ability to love people, his children, his creation.
Do I dare say that God loves his children less than I love my children? Does the God I worship want less for his children than I want for mine? How would I dare say that God gives women no, or less, rights compared to men? Any god that loves less than I love my children is an inferior, puny god. I do not believe in such a god.
Love does not condemn. Love does not judge. Love gives mercy. Love gives forgiveness. Love prefers to not withhold good things, and only withholds good things if the loved one cannot handle it. Love does not harm.
A god that does not love is a god of hate, and a god of death.
Women, you who are His beloved children, God, Allah, or whatever you call Him in your language, wants to give you all He has, the same as He has given his sons. He wants to hear your voice, loud and clear. He wants you to express your inner being, your soul, your spirit, your personality, your individuality, your love, your choices. He wants you to claim respect, from yourself and anyone else who crosses your path. He wants you to live without fear, and without apology for your opinions, your beliefs, your way of dressing, your movements. He does not want your silence or your fearful submission to men. He does not want you to take a back seat. He does not want you walking 20 steps behind. He does not see you as second class. He does not want your ignorance.
Insecure men subdue those they see as a threat. Many men see smart women as a threat. Smart women are only a threat to men who feel small. Smallness is a state of mind and heart and spirit. Small men need to make women feel small, so they can feel big and important. This is why in so many parts of the world, a woman with a book and/or an education is a fearful thing. Insecure men fear their smallness will be exposed. What they don't realize is when you withhold things from others so you can feel big and important, your smallness is already exposed. Insecurity is the enemy of love. Insecurity cannot tolerate love. Insecurity abolishes love. Insecure people do not love themselves and in the absence of loving themselves, they also cannot love anyone else either.
Secure men don't mind sharing power, within or outside a family. They are not threatened by a smart woman. They are not threatened by a woman who knows herself. They are not threatened by a woman who shows her face. Secure men want everyone to see the smart, beautiful, capable woman he married. He does not hide her or his daughters. He does not ask them to hide themselves. He does not ask them to live in fear. He does not blame them for the actions of others. Secure men don't blame victims for crimes against the victims. He does not blame a rape victim for being raped. He does not ask a rape victim to be silent about being raped, or pretend it didn't happen.
They say misery loves company. This is true. Insecure men feel a loss of control and it is constant. So their need to make everyone else around them feel smaller is also constant. Women and children are an easy target. Only insecure people take advantage of those who are physically weaker.
God, Allah, gives you the right to make your own lives. He loves you. He wants the best for you. And...........you have to claim it. He cannot give you what you won't accept. God wants to give. His hands are tied only by a person's unwillingness to accept what God has to give.
Furthermore, God, Allah, gives you each other, your sisters on the earth. All women. They are there to support you, and you to support them. Love cannot be hidden, subdued, hoarded, and locked away, or it's no longer love. Love has to be shared. It has to be shared for it to grow and become stronger and more resilient. You have to share your love with your sisters. You have to share your strength with each other. Connect with your sisters. Accept the strength they can share with you. And claim your rightful place with your men, next to them, equal to them, not silent, not subdued, and not ignorant. God gives you the same rights, the same love, as he gives his sons.
RISE! SHINE! Let the world see the light coming from you!
